In the Breaking

 

Listening to:
Song: The Cure for Pain
Artist: Jon Foreman
Album: Fall

 

 

Tonight as I was driving and letting the raindrops be my melody, I came to this conclusion…
As with every other muscle of the body the heart must break to build. Tissue must be torn and tendons must be stretched all for this process of growth. And though it hurts in the moment the fruit it produces is innumerable and the strength it builds faces no atrophy. It is in the breaking I am able to see grace and know the Father’s love. In my weakness I am able to submit to the unknown and trust in the Almighty. In the breaking I find peace.

For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. -Hebrews 12:11

Fragile

Thank You

You don’t crush me with a heavy hand

You don’t leave me alone in this world

Yes I am fragile

My heart is easily broken

I am susceptible to tears

No stranger to fear

No alien to rejection or worthlessness

Still in You I find my worth

You make beauty from ashes

You make freedom from chains

Love me hard Father

Nights like this it feels like only You will

Jehovah-Jireh

 

Oh man late night blog posts! Gotta love ‘em! So today has been a busy day but all in all a fun one. It involved everything from Starbucks, broken phone chargers, Wild-goose chases, EWR (Emergency Walmart Run), root beer kegs, near injury experiences, jam sessions, and a 5 page lit analysis…mmm fun! But all that brings me here…

Now what here looks like is kinda hard to explain. It’s not happy. It’s not sad. It’s not even sleepy (though it probably should be). If anything it may be a little lonely…but it’s weird this feeling we call loneliness. It’s the only feeling I know that can defy its own definition. Loneliness claims to be a feeling one gets when they are all alone, but how can it be then that one can feel lonely when they are surrounded by people? What an enigma. I am far from alone, yet loneliness plagues me. It reminds me of the verse in Proverbs:

“Even in laughter the heart may ache, and the end of joy may be grief.” (14:13)

Now mind you as I said earlier, I am not sad. I am content…at peace with the hand dealt me, because I know the Lord is in control, and as I seek him he will give me all I need. I mean to live a life so consumed with our “have nots” that we lose sight of our “oh my goodness thank God I haves” would be far worse. So Lord I say thank you. Thank you for what I have had, what I have now, and what I will have. Thank you. Nothing will make me stop giving you praise.

Jehovah-Jireh (The Lord Will Provide)